幽默英文短句缩写 幽默英文短句带翻译

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求几个英文幽默段子(要中文翻译,最好是发生在我们身边的事)_百度知 ...

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece ot paper, " Please wake me at 5am."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about ot go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed, it said, "It is 5am, wake up!"

Q: Why are mushrooms invited to parties?

A: Because they are such fun-gi

Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?

A: "Curl Up and Dye."

One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. "Wake up now! It's time to go to school." "I don't want to go to school," the son replied. His mother said, "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." "Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me." "Not good enough," the mother replied. "Fine," the son said. "Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school." "One, you're 50 years old. Two, you're the principal of the school."

A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions. The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false. The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out. Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely. The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on. "Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."

比较逗比的英语短句

1. 英语幽默短句100个

1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.

钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.

要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。

5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.

每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。

6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..

聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

2. 听起来有趣的英语短句

1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you。

麻烦没来找你，就别去自找麻烦。

第一、四个trouble是动词，第二、三个trouble是名词。

2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong.

我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。

第一个that是连词，引起宾语从句；第二、五个that是指示代词“那个”；第三个that在这儿相当于名词；第四个that是关系代词，引起定语从句。

3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know。

我知道。你知道。我知道你知道。我知道你知道我知道。

4. We must hang together, or we'll be hanged separately。

我们必须团结在一起，否则我们将被一个个绞死。

这是一句双关语。前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思，后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。

5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog。

那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。

这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。

6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?

我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠？

这是一句回文句，顺着读和倒着读是一样的。类似于“上海自来水来自海上。”

7. 上联： To China for china, China with china, dinner on china。

去中国买瓷器，中国有瓷器，吃饭靠瓷器。

下联：到前门买前门，前门没前门，后门有前门。

这是一副对仗工整、妙趣横生的英汉对联。下联中的第二、四、五个“前门”指“大前门”香烟。

8. 2B or not 2B, that is a ?

这是一种文字简化游戏。它的意思是：To be or not to be, that is a question. （生存还是毁灭，那是一个问题。）

9. He never saw a saw saw a saw。

他从来没见过一把锯子锯另一把锯子。

第一个saw是动词see的过去时，第二和第四个saw带有不定冠词"a"在前，是名词"锯子"，第三个saw是动词"锯"。

3. 谢谢你们这些逗比的祝福啦英文

谢谢你们这些逗比的祝福啦

Thank you these funny people for the blessing

blessing

英 [?bles??] 美 [?bl?s??]

n.

（上帝的）祝福；好事；福分；因祸得福

v.

祝圣（ bless的现在分词）；称颂上帝；求神赐福于；（表示惊奇

funny

英 [?f?ni] 美 [?f?ni]

adj.

有趣的，好笑的，滑稽的；（口）稀奇的，古怪的，奇异的；有病的，不舒服的；狡猾的，欺骗（性）的，可疑的，不光明的

简单的英语小笑话(带翻译)

1、Boy:?Is?this?seat?empty??Girl:?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：这个座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。??

2、Boy:?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink??Girl:?Actually?I'd?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？?女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。?

3、My?little?dog?can't?read?Mrs.?Brown:?Oh,?my?dear,?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog!?Mrs.?Smith:?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers!??Mrs.?Brown:?It's?no?use,?my?little?dog?can't?read.?

我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦，?亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！?史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！?布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。?“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。?“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。?“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。?“号码呢？”?“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”?

5、A??physics?Examination，Once?in?a?physics?examination,?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon,?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was:?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first,?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls????

Nick‘s?answer:?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.???

一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。??

6、Jim’s?History?Examination。Uncle:?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother:?Oh,?not?at?all?well,?but?there,?it?wasn't?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.???

吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。?

7、he?is?really?somebody。--?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?--?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do?--?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.???

他真是一个大人物。--?我叔叔下面有1000个人。--?他真是一个大人物。干什么的？--?墓地守墓人。

扩展资料：

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。

人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。

同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。

参考资料：百度百科：笑话

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